so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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