In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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