I'm eating all of the evidence.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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