Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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