I showed him my bush... on skype.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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