420 ftw
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize