I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize