K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize