I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize