i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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