My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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