It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
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i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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