the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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