Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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