you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize