who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
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Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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