Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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