Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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