In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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