What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize