i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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