just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize