its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize