so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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