but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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