goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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