youre lurking in front of me
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize