is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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