i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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