Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize