is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize