So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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