The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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