im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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