You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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