my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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