I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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