I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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