Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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