I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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