I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
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Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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