it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize