he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
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Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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