I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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