If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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