i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize