Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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