Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.

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  (513): I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence. http://tfl.nu/wy8q
  Replies (14) Good night (2576) Bad night (807)
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  (646): View more from New York

  maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.

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  (646): maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick. http://tfl.nu/wm19
  Replies (9) Good night (501) Bad night (4048) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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  (817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8
  Replies (18) Good night (5732) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here

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  (916): This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here http://tfl.nu/hb41
  Replies (16) Good night (4710) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

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  (978): i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team http://tfl.nu/fnfy
  Replies (24) Good night (1097) Bad night (4708) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  everybody makes mistakes

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

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  (630): everybody makes mistakes (1-630): i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances http://tfl.nu/cihb
  Replies (23) Good night (6556) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
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  (498): View more from

  You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

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  (498): You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/rks2
  Replies (7) Good night (3178) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit

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  (901): He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit http://tfl.nu/0txt
  Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (2378) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

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  (519): Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin? http://tfl.nu/eyam
  Replies (14) Good night (2766) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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  (802): She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there. http://tfl.nu/44mo
  Replies (12) Good night (6882) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...

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  (+61): Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones... http://tfl.nu/dtoz
  Replies (4) Good night (2585) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night

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  (908): this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night http://tfl.nu/eq6t
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.

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  (507): So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver. http://tfl.nu/b2sj
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming

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  (419): Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming http://tfl.nu/qxd7
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?

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  (808): wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke? http://tfl.nu/hs3o
  Replies (2) Good night (292) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt

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