john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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