I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
there is glitter all over my balls
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